A troupe of Government enforcers is set to be deployed over the Bank Holiday weekend to check vaccine papers around Ireland.
It is understood that businesses will be monitored to ensure they adhere to the latest chaotic, random, ineffective, meritless, and illogical guidelines.
According to some of these idiotic guidelines, nightclub goers will only be at risk of catching the virus while not dancing, implying that people will need to start dancing the moment they set foot into the venue and not stop, a la Dancing Priest from the much-loved sitcom Father Ted. The very moment people stop dancing, Covid is likely to pounce on them.
Equally, guidelines for venues hosting live music gigs imply that only standing stances will save people from catching Covid, but attendees will be at deathly peril the moment they take to their seats.
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