Drogheda authorities have reportedly held secret talks to plan the next stage of their counter-offensive against the seagull invaders: mass sterilization.
Held in an undisclosed location, attendees to the high-stakes meeting fielded the idea of a final solution of sorts for the seagull population by means of slipping contraceptive pills in food bait. The idea is to prevent reproduction and let the species die out in a couple of generations. This follows early plans for an anti-gull laser defence grid that never materialized, probably due to budgetary constraints and concerns about the wanton disintegration of avian life in the area.
Seagulls have laid siege to the metropolitan territory of Drogheda for some time, depleting the town’s food resources like chips, crisps, and discarded burgers and kebabs during sustained, daring low-level peck-and-run strikes.
The Great Gull War continues.
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