Eamon Ryan’s blood has become the Holy Grail in the fight against Covid-19, as the Minister beat the disease in less than 24h, just in time to fly off to Scotland.
The global scientific community is now postulating different theories as to how the Irishman’s immune system was able to eradicate the virus with such celerity and efficiency. Some now believe that Mr. Ryan’s genetic makeup might hold the key to the elimination of the so-called ‘Long Covid,’ Irish-style.
The official version goes that the Transport Minister tested positive on Saturday, which laid waste to his plans of flying off to Glasgow at the taxpayer’s expense. At this point, ordinary citizens would have been forced to self-isolate for 10 days and restrict their movements and social contacts. But as the COP26 event only had a few days left, and Mr. Ryan was really keen to go, the HSE offered the equivalent of a ‘nah, it’d be alright Mr. Minister sir’ solution. So the agency rushed to the rescue with a second test, which citizens with less standing would not have received. And in a confluence of amazing luck, medical portent, elitism, and political machinations, Mr. Ryan was now found to be coronavirus-free, so his travel plans could go ahead unimpeded.
Some say that Ireland’s Transport Minister is now Eire’s Man With all the Gifts, a one-man antiviral powerhouse, and that serum developed from his blood could put Big Pharma out of business for good and terminate the Covid-19 pandemic globally in a matter of hours.
But the innate cynicism of Irish people can’t help wondering if the whole thing was just a ploy to make sure Mr. Ryan could get his travel fix, while others would have been forced to self-isolate and restrict movements.
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