Like a New Year’s Resolution from hell, the latest newsflash to come from the reclusive and enigmatic land of North Korea tells us that authorities have issued an order stating that men should keep their hair short, and imitate their supreme leader’s uniquely bizarre swept-back style wherever possible, or else.
Long-haired hooligans are frowned upon around North Korea, their libertarian attitude and flippant disregard for public decency represents an ideological nuisance to society.
Enforcers are now said to roam university halls with scissors in hand, ready to smite down the offenders and trim their manes with extreme prejudice.
Meanwhile, cheese-loving Kim Jong-un has reportedly undergone plastic surgery to make him resemble Kim Il-sung -his grandfather, and the perceived messiah of North Korea- more closely.