Fianna Fáil Senator Lorraine Clifford-Lee is today emulating Ronald Reagan’s historic Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI) program to wage total war on marauding seagulls.
Developed in 1983, SDI’s goal was to implement a network of anti-ballistic missile systems designed to intercept and destroy incoming Commie birds.
Ms. Clifford’s own initiative sidesteps the missile part, and instead intends to take aim at swarms of well-organized seagull raiding parties that are reportedly terrorizing the inhabitants of some coastal Dublin areas.
According to Ms. Clifford, seagull raiders have staged hit-and-run dive attacks on the elderly, in all likelihood with the objective of stealing the chips they bought with a fraction of their meager pension.
Ms. Clifford’s own SDI (Seagull Defense Initiative) plan intends to tackle the seagull menace via strategically deployed-laser batteries that target the raiders while in-flight.
It is unclear, however, who or what would finance the state-of-the-art laser armamentarium required for Dublin’s last stand against the seagull onslaught.